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*on Halloween*
Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat.
Female: I'll cut off your penis.

via: Anti-Pickup Line
Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

via: Clarksonisms
I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they...

via: ethugtxt

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