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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says,
"i keep thinking it's tueday"

via: Anti Joke
Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

via: Anti-Pickup Line
You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have...

via: Clarksonisms

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